Sunday, February 22, 2009

I know, life goes on

It's been a while. Life went on and on and I am happy that it does.
I had a wonderful/awful Christmas. I'm still healthy and so far without treatment.
I had a CT scan in Jan and something grew again.

Scary, awful, scary, awful, and more of the same.

I have finally had some pain. You have no idea how I do not want to report that. Pain means progress, pain means trouble, pain means pain.

I'm so frigging scared now I don't really know what to do about it.

The last CT scan showed some more growth. I'm pretty devastated about that. Add to it this feeling pain thing. It got their notice. I joked with my sister that heck, if I knew that reporting some effects would get their attention, I should have done it lots earlier!

So they decided that they should send my biopsy somewhere new to be genetically analyzed. Especially because my sis got triple negative breast cancer about 9 months after I was diagnosed. They are now wondering what kind of cancer I really have.

Gee, I could have told them that this was an important question a year ago!

March 19th I have an appointment with my actual oncologist. He's hopefully going to know what the analysis said, and depending on what they find out, hopefully have something more specific to treat me with. Having a cancer of unknown origin is the pits. They really have no clue what to do. The idea is, perhaps i really have breast cancer too! If so, they are all hot on some new treatment that is so far only approved for breast cancer. If somehow my reports can say that, they are all hot on giving me that trial drug. Sigh............ I don't know what to wish for.